likely God.

i have heard over the years how marathon runners hit "the wall." well, i hit the wall sunday night. monday i could barely keep my eyes open when i awoke. so i went back to sleep for a while.

i prayed for the rush of euphoria, of God's strength to infill me because i had nothing. my tank was utterly dry and i was coasting downhill. monday flew by actually, and i did get a second wind from somewhere, likely God.

my best friend kept saying, and was still saying yesterday morning,

suz, you're not going to make it. we've got to pick up the pace.

and i said,

i can't go any faster.

understand i've been purging and packing our junk for a full week today. without a day of rest. without any break of any significance, just a couple hours here and there. in the midst of it all i'm writing a book, so my days start at 5:30 and end around 11:30. i'm fried. completely.

but the purge ended yesterday, and we moved into rapid packing mode because everything left is either going into storage or with us. i have only two rooms left to pack and my master bath. i think i'm going to make it. my best friend finally agrees.

i wanted to take three days to get to ny. it is symbolic, three days descent to dust, and then reemerging at the beginning of a new journey. but i am told my husband and his best friend are going to try to get us there in two days. so much for my poetic angle on this drive. i'll be grateful to arrive earlier, but the metaphor is blown if we get there in two days. bummer.

today i really believe it is going to be all right. i'm not just saying that anymore. i believe it.