praise

these lines, coupled with herod being eaten up of worms, have served to chill me this morning:

For they preferred human praise to the glory of God.

i do not know if the things i write are worth your time or mine. if they are of God, or just something i came up with, if they are literary indigestion, or art. the response of the people has always helped me determine the good seed from the bad. but there are those moments when i am committed to a piece, be it a poem, a word, whatever, that i believe it to be of God and no matter what anyone says or does not say, and i let it stand.

i do not claim to be God's mouthpiece, yet i hear Him speak and write about it. i do see Him move, and make notes. this is the least i can do.

this issue of praise then always gets me because i wrote a poem a long time ago, years i think, that asks the question,

how much praise did it require for Herod to be eaten up of worms?

i still ask this question. not that i want to get so close to the line i can see the worms stirring, but it is a question i contemplate often. i'll likely spend a bit of time searching my heart today asking God,

am i stealing Your praise?

because my concern is this, if i do it now, when i'm a nobody (according to the writing industry, not God), how much of a greater temptation will it be if i am ever in a position to actually recieve praise from more than just a handful of friends and acquaintances?

i like a pat on the back as much as the next guy. i have also learned it is a feigned humility to deny compliments, to back out of attaboys. i have learned to simply say,

thank you.

but is complimenting praise? is praise complimenting? can we answer this question with any kind of certainty? i certainly can't.

there are people who are kind and generous with their words of encouragment to me. just as there are those that i am kind and generous with my words of encouragment to. when does it cross the line to praise?

i think praise has more to do with worship than mere complimenting. but the human heart is so tricky. and i don't always believe it.

i trust God to rend the idols of my worship away from my hands and heart because this is my prayer. those people and things i begin to worship, i pray they get removed from me, though the pain be intense.

that is what it all comes down to for me, God being soveriegn and me coming back over and over to say,

search me and know me, try my heart, see if there be any evil way in me.

and i guess i just have to learn to accept a compliment and not fear it is praise unless i am convicted. i don't think God is about smiting people without first convicting, so if i keep a tender heart before God, all will be well. at least that is what i believe.