showing age

the grey is beginning to be noticable, i'm not too heavily wrinkled, but there are more fissures developing than before. i'm aging, what can i say?

i found this in my email this morning:

At this 2 - hour seminar you will learn the secrets of:

-How to alleviate or completely eliminate any degenerative disease

-How to reach an ideal weight and have boundless energy

-How to reverse the aging process and enjoy impressive youthfulness

-How to get rid of eye bags, eliminate puffiness, and add a polished
glow to your face

-How to prepare delicious green smoothie that acts in your body as
"Elixir of Youth"

am i the only person who wants to grow old and show it? i really doubt that. and yesterday at the ren faire, a sir francis drake called me fair one, so i am not going down too shabbily.

the thing about it is, everywhere, there are all manner of ways to amend appearances. to make oneself acceptable and perpetually young-looking.

i want to look good, don't get me wrong, i'm just going about it differently. elders in native cultures are honored and revered. i have watched old native women, grey streaked, powerful, and bowed with age convey such grace and dignity, that this is all i long for. to stretch out my hand, wrinkled though it may be, and bless the young and old alike.

it is said that old women can do whatever they please, they can touch whomever they please, they can say whatever they please. they can kiss whomever they please.

because it is all different then, they have traveled long and far on these hard roads, and their blessing of presence is welcome. their gift of touch is received without question.

i have thought many times of late, we are here to assuage each other's loneliness. perhaps this is just my take on it, but so many times, i've felt the balm of another's presence, the healing of another's voice, the soothing of another's touch to be the only thing that connects me to presence.

i get caught up in contemplating life, but then my little daughter, who is nearly as tall as i am now, climbs onto my lap and wants to be held (not at all comfortable or easily accomodated anymore), but i do try. my touch still means something.

i want to grow old gracefully. to speak with wisdom and grace. to teach anyone who wants to learn. to impart the gifts i've been given to anyone who wants to receive them.

i have five things i know the Lord has given me. writing, dance, freedom, words of knowledge, and mercy. these five things are for me to give away. these five things are my charge to impart to whomever would have them. but i only give them to those who ask. very few people know to ask for such things.

one lady sat beside me once and said,

why are you smiling?

do you have something to give?

yes.

i said.

i would like to recieve,

she said.

then let me pray for her. i would not encourage you to ask every soul you meet for their gifts, but when the Lord moves upon your heart to ask, do not hesitate. do not be afraid. we are but whispers on the wind. moments in time. a flash of lightning which doth cease before one can say, it lights.

grow old with me, the best is yet to be.