are you asking me to dance

one thing i didn't really plan for is what i meant by dance. it could be very liberally interpreted, which, knowing me, it will be.

went by my old digs at the mall today, and my old boss said i could work there again, she wants me to work there again as available. she will completely bend her needs to my availability. i was considering a second job, and now, i think i'll take this one, just to be safe. i need to do something and now with this semester off, i may have some spare time.

but then again. things being what they are at my store, it's not certain what will happen. all i know is, i'm grateful. for everything.

but i wish my champion were here beside me, and that he could know i'm still waiting. and even when i say i'm not, that i'm always leaving a window open and a breadcrumb trail.

there is this pearl jam song i don't know the name of, but the lyrics are so damn perfect, i'm going to have to seek it out again after i hear it.

i don't know. everything had changed, absolutely nothing's changed.

it's that song. what is the title? maybe i can find it...
it's called corduroy, and i may have the wrong lyrics here, but who knows. i need to get this album again, i had it once upon a dream.


Corduroy lyrics

The waiting drove me mad... you're finally here and I'm a mess
I take your entrance back... can't let you roam inside my head
I don't want to take what you can give...
I would rather starve than eat your bread...
I would rather run but I can't walk...
Guess I'll lie alone just like before...
I'll take the varmint's path... oh, and I must refuse your test
A-push me and I will resist... this behavior's not unique
I don't want to hear from those who know...
They can buy, but can't put on my clothes...
I don't want to limp for them to walk...
Never would have known of me before...
I don't want to be held in your debt...
I'll pay it off in blood, let I be wed...
I'm already cut up and half dead...
I'll end up alone like I began...
Everything has chains... absolutely nothing's changed
"Take my hand, not my picture," spilled my tincture
I don't want to take what you can give...
I would rather starve than eat your bread...
All the things that others want for me...
Can't buy what I want because it's free...
Can't buy what I want because it's free...
Can't be what you want because I'm...
Why ain't it supposed to be just fun
Oh, to live and die, let it be done
I figure I'll be damned, all alone like I began...
It's your move now...
I thought you were a friend, but I guess I, I guess I hate you..