the kids are surprising me

and that's hard to do. i don't surprise easily.

but tonight, the kid i worked with was correcting me and telling me to do things differently, which i loved. i don't like there being no rival to counter my strength. i don't hide my strength, i guess it just shows selectively. and in the work place, i've got things to accomplish, so i enlist the aid of my team.

yesterday, the boss sat down with me and the person who told me off and said in no uncertain terms, suzanne is a manager. listen to her.

which was kind. but it looks like it won't be officially official until april. sigh.

my life is all about waiting i guess. i should be used to it.

am i?

hardly.

i've been straining against this silence for so long. i've had so much to say and no way to say it, no words. i've only been writing because i force myself to write a weekly poem, but that time is coming to an end. i told myself, one year. i will do this for one year. that time is nigh.

what awaits me on the other side of this journey? i do not know.

now, i continue to workout and try to focus my energies where some difference can be made. mostly that's school.

i've lost a total of fifteen pounds this past year, and i'm thin as i've been in a long time. the body is the easy part.

are these distances being crossed psychically, spiritually? or am i the same?

most of the time it feels nothing has changed. yet i know everything has changed. i must trust it.

i continue to walk blind along a rocky precipice. hoping that if the winds do change, when the winds change, i'll be ready for it.

at the moment, i'm just enjoying myself. or trying to.

peace.