Wednesday, February 20, 2008

things to make your local barista nutz

order a no foam latte and pull the lid off, saying,
there's foam here.


without ever realizing there is no way to strain out every microscopic bit of foam. we are using primitive tools, a spoon and pitcher. c'mon!

then, walk around to retrieve said no foam latte (second time through which, incidentally came out exactly the same way as the first one), and ask for a cup of whip cream and a spoon. conveniently after paying.

yeah, we love that.

look aghast when we actually charge you for said whipped cream when you add it on to a beverage. hence the term, add on. consider the ramifications of requesting an add on. usually, it means an add on to the price.

balk at this, that will give you tons of points in our eyes.

actually paying for something you order, now that is something we want to have to convince you to do.

argue with us about it, we love that.

pay five dollars for your drink and complain about the .30 cents we add on for whipped cream you request. yes, that's the way to ensure five star service.

then, take your little cup of whipped cream and smear it all over the condiment bar. be sure to dump your drink when transferring unpaidfor whipped cream into the full latte cup. you see, the amount transferred into the full cup (we do not give out cups that are not full), will be displaced by whipped cream. when you go to cram a lid on it, it will, mark my word, squish out.

then, after making your little pathetic mess, don't mention it, leave it there for us to "find." we like surprises.

thank you. and come again.

2 comments:

Eliza Shane said...

You just gotta love people, eh?

siouxsiepoet said...

oh yes, people.

i try to remember, they are not all the same. to give each a chance, a clean slate. it's so easy to let a few slobs or nutjobs leave a bad impression.

this is my little way of purging those impressions. but i'm amazed nearly every day at what people will do.

peace.