Tuesday, March 23, 2010

hear now

i'm listening to chris cornell and eddie vedder kind of mano y mano with beatles covers. they have such gorgeous voices. that deeply masculine thing that i so enjoy. and the acoustic guitar is to die for.

have to get up soon, going to go visit my friend who may not even want to see me. life has gotten suddenly complicated, now when i have no energy to deal with drama.

what to do?

what i've always done, i guess. show up. be myself. hope it works out.

meanwhile, i'm folded over in her backseat hiding from her husband thinking,
how whack is this?

it's strange, really.

today is his birthday. i don't know that i can even speak directly anymore. but sometimes, i still go down that path. it leads to nowhere. sadly. it once held so much promise, so much life.

but the trail's gone cold and i'm trying to find my own way. make my own place of peace.

it seems so far away. beyond reach.

but i can get there, one step at a time.

as i wrote in a poem so long ago, hew my own vessel, forge my own way.

it would be nice to have a companion on the journey, i must admit.

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