do i understand what's going on? no, but apparently that is not a prerequisite of life. much of the time, i think, we have to play catch up with momentum. at least that's what i've found.
it has made me realize that i live in another world in some ways. my perceptions are also my reality. and my reality is very good. getting better all the time.
there is a difference between believing a thing into truth and wishful thinking. what that distinction is, i cannot say. i'm not sure i don't spend too much time wishful, rather than intentional. it's something i have to consider.
time for me to resume exercises in silence. time for me to pick up some of what i've let fall to the wayside. time for me to walk away from what i cannot possibly understand and just keep moving toward my dreams.
spent a bit of time on the phone with the ex recently, and while it is not my favorite way to pass the time, i'm grateful he tries to help me troubleshoot.
my girl's new laptop got a wicked virus and we spent an hour on the phone trying to figure it out. but i was tired. so we let it go to try again another day.
the other night i came home and my girl was on the phone with her dad and they had worked it through together. i am so glad, i had no time for fixing that computer. and no patience for it. it was utterly beyond me.
i fixed it mom!she announced as i stepped in the door.
.
wonderful. i'm so proud of you.
dad says i'm going to be really good with computers.
yes, love.
whatever she chooses, i want her to excel at. whatever she wants, i want her to enjoy. sometimes, it has to come from other sources. i'm grateful there is more out there supporting her than just me. even though, at times, it feels like it's only me.
there is a ladybug clamboring around my laptop. falling from the open screen with a delicate thud. they are very helpless in many ways. trapped indoors overwinter.
i hear they are lucky.
much to do, must away.
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