horrible employee

so, i'm not sure if i'm a wretched employee or someone who is an asset. i seem to step in shit wherever i work, and try as i might to navigate it. it's just there, stinking up my shoes.

tonight, the young co-mgr, felt overpowered by my presence when a *bux trainer came in and kept talking to me privately. i wasn't saying things i wouldn't say to everyone, but when i took notes as the trainer was talking, the young mgr. felt compelled to tell me,

i'll tell [the boss]

when the trainer left, the young mgr turned and said outloud,

what does my nametag say, manager. let me manage.

i said,

taking notes is not a crime.

and left it at that.

until the young mgr. brought it up again.

i'll tell [the boss]

i wasn't trying to get in your business,

i said,

just taking notes because i wouldn't remember what she said.

the youngish mgr stayed over an extra 2.5 hours to torment me, how do i know this, because she would say shit to me, bossy shit.

i tried to keep my chin up and my head down, but it made me question my stand.

so i called my best friends. to ask them. my sister to ask her.

now i am convinced that it is not me, just the situation.

group think is tough. and when working in a group of teenagers, it is immensely difficult to navigate.

i don't gossip. i shut it down. i state my opposing case plainly for all to hear. and i don't hide behind anonymity (i say, use my name, whenever i say something, because i believe we need to be responsible for the things we say, and damn it, i try).

the trainer asked if i'd consider management, but my availability is nights and weekends. so, she said, (in earshot of the young mgr),

it's good to have someone of your maturity here.

(which didn't help one bit with the kids).

but i'm tired now.
and the kids got to me.

so i'm going to bed. no work tomorrow.

just little girls.
and i'll be packing chocolate.

peace.