Sunday, May 18, 2008

big hugs

so when the chief saw me at the powwow, he gave me a big hug. which was warmly recieved and returned. when i later asked my husband what he thought of him, he said,
doesn't act like a married man.


that was the bottom line of the powwow i guess.

but i ran into lovely helen today, who said she loved my book and asked if i wrote all the poems.

yes,
i said.

i saw another tribal man i knew from a visit to the post office. unmistakeable eyes. i knew him from afar (that and the long braids, not many dudes running around with long braids).

so we're invited to some gathering this weekend, i don't know that i'll go. sounds like my husband may. which is good, he could stand to be around dudes.

but my work is preparing to demand more of me in that they want either me or my manager there all the time. (shit happens when we're not there). and i'm trying to stave off that eventuality by reminding the other assistant she can acutally do the work of management, too.

but she calls out a lot and today wandered in with her arm in a brace.

you really got in an accident,
i said.

yes. she didn't believe me, did she?


no.
i told her, because if i called out as much and as last minute as this young girl, it wouldn't be hard not to believe the zillionth time you've called out last minute.

that's the trouble,
i said,
with not believing someone, they could be telling the truth
(was how i framed that little doozie).

home now, and got my paper back from my prof. which is a load off, i'll tell you. i'm just so tired, all i can do is crash. i can't wait for this semester to be over. but i had to ask him,
did i do it, have i done it, what i set out to do?


i got the rigorous part down, but this is specifically to be an academic semester of intensive poetry, and i'm not really the one to decide if i've fulfilled that requirement. he is. if he says no, i need to know now. not when the semester ends.

honestly, i don't know that i can change much, but if i know with three weeks, i can muster something. some thing. who knows what.

my summer is getting devoured with days off and projects to be done. i did sign up for whale watching, FINALLY. i spent all last year regretting not being able to get to that.

something about spending the day with my girl on a boat watching whales, it sounds awesome. my hubby won't go because he doesn't like the water so much.

i must go.

i must.

i told my girl we'd dress up for the ren faire this year, and i am not even sure i have another weekend while the faire is running to squeeze it in. time used to be mine. i used to have all the time in the world to do pretty much whatever i pleased. now, not so.

not so.

we had to leave early yesterday from the powwow to take care of the horses. my hubby helped, and i was glad. it meant the whole thing was over so much quicker and i left bucky with three raspberry lipstick smooches on his muzzle. it surprised me that he passed me by and went straight to my husband, but he never smiled after the cookies, until my husband went away and i was there alone.

curious.

truly.

i'm fried. and this is just one more thing i don't have time for.

peace.out.

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