gushing academic

it is with great trepidation i submit my work to the prof i chose this semester, because he's incredibly talented in the ways i want to excel (namely, poetry) and as i said, i can't bullshit him. i have to perform.

since he refrained from commenting on my last submission (of poetry), and asked me to resend them, i've felt a bit in limbo. i know i have issues with commas and fragments, but give me something i can use.

in amending my biblio for this semester, i had to delete some of the asthetes i had on there (good lord, one book IS enough, and i refuse to read more), he wrote back that he loved one of my latest essays.

which gives me such a feeling of relief as one can never tell.

first of all, i took a chance calling this brilliant man (whom i was writing about), a chauvanist and that'll win over all kinds of people. but i explicated a passage of a poem the chauvanist refused to explicate because it was the "hysterical" rantings of a woman.

sigh.

it was a big risk. i have this contrary nature in my writing, that is to say, i more easily play devil's advocate than any other role especially academically. which i guess in some ways is horribly academic. it's just that it is coupled with my repeated mantra, i don't know.

so not academic.

but i don't believe admission of ignorance is a fault. it has taken me a great while to become comfortable with confessing my ignorance and i have to admit, confessing here, of all places, has helped me adapt my writing style to accomodate said confessions in a away that isn't idiotic sounding. (or maybe it is, and that is my appeal. who really knows how these things work).

but, all ends well.

how does it?

it's a mystery.

i finished my weeks series. a bittersweet ending (not necessarily in the poem) but a turning point in life. i have to let it go. i have to. i likely need to write about that as it is bringing up wells of emotion right now that i hadn't realized were lurking.

and i had an open mic last night, which was wonderful. simply fab.

if i could just do that, host and read and write poetry for the rest of my days, i'd be a happy clam. i'm not at my current job forever, i must remind myself this. it is but a stop on the road. and i'm enjoying it. learning how to deal with all different kinds of people.

my boss said recently,

i want you to take risks.

okay, you asked for it.

have a good day, i'm off to see bucky, so i know i will. he is simply gorgeous. moved to a far paddock where i have to walk awhile to reach him, but the walking is good, it gets the creative juices flowing.

now to spend the day with my girl as well. been a long time since i haven't had to just sit at my computer and write, or read, read, read.

peace. out.