sleepytime

i'm tired, but i can't just come home and not say goodnight. it's my, tradition, shall we call it.

but i'm tired, and the sun will rise early tomorrow. hard work ahead, but it will be soul satisfying work, and i'm ready for it.

tonight i was mulling over all the things that have transpired this past year. so many intrigues. makes my head spin. i want a "normal" life, but at the same time, i want my life. and it is what it is.

i look forward to the day when laughter will fill my mouth.

i see that day in my mind's eye. it is drawing nearer, i can feel it.

i am learning even now how to laugh again.

it's been so long since i've known simple joy and unfettered peace. i'm not sure i ever have. but it's coming, stalking me, and i won't run from it. i'll embrace it.

and laugh until my sides hurt and i cry from so much wonder.

this doesn't make for good poetry, or perhaps it does.

i don't know.

it remains to be seen.

so i watch, and wait.

that which is mine will come to me.