give someone else a chance.
my girl would not remember a memory verse after that.
i can't say i blame her.
the youth minister poked her head in the door one day to ask me about it.
i've tried,i said,
she refuses. someone told her to give the others a chance, so she is.
the thing that pissed me off about that is the head up the ass thinking of the church. when a kid is self-motivated (i certainly had nothing to do with her wanting to remember verses), to memorize scripture, LET THEM.
but no, they had to nip that. and well, it died, with so many other things.
so, a similar thing is happening in an unrelated venue, and i am trying my best to keep it from dying.
the reason it's threatened is in part because my girl is a fabulous thesbian and one of the church workers assigned some lines, previously earmarked for her little friend, to her. my girl had nothing to do with taking the lines, but for months now, she's been getting the silent treatment of this little girl.
and it breaks my heart.
my husband told me tonight, the little girl who lost the lines had a bday party (just weeks before my girl's and when they were at the last meeting, the entire gang was talking about the party to come, and my girl walked up and the group was told, don't talk about it in front of her).
i have stayed out of all these intrigues because i think it is good for a child to learn how to deal with shitty friends on their own.
but now, as my girl contemplates ditching a very important organization because this little girl is being a shit, it makes me want to get involved.
how can i?
well, i kept my status as leader for just such an occasion. seems when i moved to ny i had spent all my volunteer hours at that point, i was totally tapped.
and i saw that things were "unfair" but knew it could possibly be my vantage point, being the mother and all. so i let her try to navigate the waters.
now, that she is losing her will to fight this battle, i am swooping in to help salvage what i can.
don't give up something so important for that girl,i told her.
if you're going to do this, do this for you.
and so we are going to do community service at the barn where we love the horses. and the instructor, and the kids who come to ride.
i am going to help, because i have to. i am her advisor, of sorts, in this. but she will do the required number of hours and earn this award in her own right.
she is enthusiastic about it again, now that it is reframed in a venue that is not lifesucking to her.
i understand how she feels though, once i stop caring about something no thing can make me care again. i'm over it. done. moved on.
my goal is not to get her to generate false interest in something not worthwhile, but for her to see the value of persevering in an organization that is immensely worthwhile. most of our fun together revolves around this group. to walk away from it now would be leaving the party before it even got started.
fortunately, the heavy group involvement phase is over, and while it would be nice for her to be in a group of her peers, i'm not going to lose sleep over it. we'll become independents, and continue on as we do, forging our own path into tomorrow.
i sure hope we meet some more kindred spirits though. my girl could use a few good friends. i don't expect too much for myself, but kids are easier, i think. if their moms can get over me being eccentric. that's the tough part. i'm so not a coffe clatch mom.
we need to meet some artists with kids. that's what we need.
ah, and if they could be homeschoolers as well. so much the better.
peace. out.
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