today is one of those days.
i look at the scroll of things coming up unfurling at my feet, far out as the eye can see. and i wonder, what am i supposed to be doing now?
not sure, so what do i do? i come here to clear my mind.
yesterday was a whirlwind though we got the horses done in two hours, it wasn't a zen two hours because the farm owner was there. and you know when someone says,
you don't know who i am,nothing good can come after that, regardless of what comes after that, right?
so, no i had no clue and still don't care who owns what. but it made me think, what do i own?
these lungs, these fingers, these legs.
that's plenty, for now.
it had me contemplating what i want to own, and there isn't much. though now, the short list includes a horse. i admit it. i never thought it would happen to me, it's such a cliche at this point in my life, but whatever. cliche be damned. i want a horse of my very own.
today at work the customers seemed to be moving in fast forward. watching them come in, even the grandmas with their tennies on were all business and moving at lightspeed.
i've lost track of where i am in my books. i think i'm right on track, but i'll just use my faithful equation and refigure where i'm supposed to be. maybe the page number has gone down a bit since i've been pretty faithful to my appointed pages. i can't recall falling behind and not making up for it and then some.
i was considering going to school next semester, actually physically walking in the building, it would be one excuse to go to vermont, but that might mean i don't get the prof i adore, the abenaki prof. and that is unsatisfactory, an unacceptable alternative. so i --ooh, interrupted by a poet-- nothing better in life than to be interrupted by a poet. i'm so grateful to be constantly surrounded by poets of amazing caliber. i often have to ask myself if i'm dreaming. but then a lame poet reads and i think, surely not. in my dreams, we are all outstanding!
i must away, time to run to the library with my girl. i'll pick up this thread sometime in the future, see, how quickly i lose track.
peace. out.
okay, i'm back. ever have that waaaay tired feeling of wanting to just lie down wherever you are and sleep? i'm feeling that way standing up. today at work i could have slept anywhere. but of course, i couldn't.
the kids walk in looking like i feel. that's to be expected though. they surely don't get enough sleep and until they shake it off (about an hour in to work, they're pretty useless, then again, so am i. but i'm a more functional useless).
so we go to the library and i get all kinds of movies i don't have time to watch, but one can always hope the day suddenly has twenty five or twenty six hours.
last night the hubby put on some movie about iraq and i simply could not keep the bananas peeled. i zonked out, my girl said she clapped her hands right beside my head and i didn't budge. i was O.U.T. out.
i imagine the same thing will happen. unless a movie is exceptionally good, good enough to accomodate my exhaustion (though i'm not feeling exhausted, just tired), then i can't watch it. i'll try a movie twice, though i just got count of monte cristo again, (third try) but my sister says i'll love it and she usually calls them. so i try. but i tend to pass out just when it gets started.
movies have that effect on me. anything to make me fall asleep.
though i wonder now why i'm here banging out the letahs when i should be would be could be sleeping.
oh what a wonder, what a mystery that is me.
peace. out.
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