the bookcase long overrun, has transferred most of its bounty to the adjacent built in cabinet. and now more books vie for the space those once beloved books held. only a few kept their words on my shelf. most were sent so i could have those most useful closest at hand. and now they pile up and i rifle through them to find what i need.
so many words surround me.
and yet, they, for all their comfort leave me wanting. they, for all their secrets, leave me feeling out of the loop. i do not yet know what i need to know to solve these riddles and rhymes. i have to wait. and waiting is not my strong suit.
the neighbor downstairs has this way of carmelizing onions that makes me want to kick his door in and gobble them up. sometimes, he forgets he's cooking and the wondrous smell becomes noxious. the haunt of something that could have been delicious but has gone rank, is probably worse than smelling the sweet smell of something that tastes delicious even vicariously.
i notice, at the gym, when i'm doing my thousand situps, that the ladies habitually talk of food. down to the syrups and sauces, i have heard so many talks of buffets and restaurants, it would make your head spin if you tried to keep track of it all. and i laughed because the trainer was captivated by the description of a breafast buffet one member went to, and i said,
vicarous eating, eh?
they laughed.
it was curious though.
i realized, i don't know much about status symbols, don't know or don't care, not sure which. i'm sure there is some seed in me that cares, but when these women are talking about wanting to look rich and well off, that their next car purchase must be a bmw, mercedes, or lexus--no, that's the family car, i realize why i have nothing to say to them.
i'm just glad my banged up pony, the toyota camry which i drive over medians and has lost another hubcap (some have called it the spycar because they are everywhere and no one really sees these cars), though i did see one the other day parked beside me that was a gorgeous midnight blue. i'm trying to get my hubby to invest in a jeep wrangler for me. silver, like i used to have. my daughter says,
i'm working on it.
if i get that conveyance, it will be more about her ability to persuade than mine. i've not asked for it. but i do want another jeep someday.
so i pass two, literally, not exaggerating, bentleys driving into the parking lot of my store as i'm leaving last night and think, what the hell is going on? i guess it's just indicative of the places surrounding where i live, certainly not where i live.
money hasn't ever really impressed me. sure there are lots of things to buy, but i have always been more into people. i would rather know people than possess things. though i've got my share of crap, i'll tell you.
i'm needing to purge again. but hoping we don't move too soon, though at this rate, the livingroom of our current apartment should be packed to the gills with books by summer. my girl is amassing horse books faster than i am poetry books. and that is saying something.
as much as i didn't want to buy any on saturday, i had to buy a copy of the plr i'm in, as i gave mine away, i don't remember to whom, i think to my sister. and i picked up two copies of a poet from wales, amazing stuff.
just more for me to add to my to be read list.
peace. out.
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