ripe with possibility

i don't know what it is, even at my lowest, i wake in the morning feeling like it's another chance to do it right. to make something wonderful happen.

i try not to let my mind spin off in the direction of the past or future, as both are equally questionable. what i've done, what i've yet to do. nothing i can change about either, so i must stay here. in the moment.

i need to work out then begin the rush of my day.

i'm reading an excellent poetry book called omeros by derek walcott. my prof recommended it, and it's gorgeous. just a joy to read. so much so, i read 104 instead of just 52 pages yesterday. after this (which looks to have about three hundred (possibly 250) more pages, two more books for this packet.

it will be light on the creative writing part, but that is beside the point. i will have genuinely frontloaded after this. and can ease into my last two packets with more freedom to delve critically into my subject.

though i'm still not looking forward to it.

i have had a different approach this time around because these poets have left me so speechless and often times bored (though, in each book there is at least one captivating poem, much to my relief). so i let the writing, the annotation set. and in one flurry of words and hours, a marathon of writing, i draft all my pages at the same time. then, as i'm inclined to do, i don't reread just hit SEND.

this is dangerous. especially with a critical eye such as i've got on me now. but last packet, i went back after i sent it, and saw only three actual errors. i think he found a couple more that i'd missed. but this contemplative writing process really works for me. and now i'm taking it even further because i have to start writing before i actually hear anything.

i simply hear crickets regarding these poets.

but just like this blog, as i start to write the thoughts come. it's like turning on the tap. sometimes incorporating the quotes is a big deal because i use a laptop on my lap, and have no proper workspace. so juggling a book and laptop can be a bit trying. so i try to input my passages before the actual writing.

then, i can contemplate what i'm going to write on free of having to labor to incorporate said quotes into the work.

i have planned with a friend to go up next semester to vermont and attend residency in person. i would love to do this, take eight days and be an actual student. meet my profs face to face.

but the logistics of that extraction in my life are daunting. i'm not sure i can pull it off. the stretch of time is one thing, but i think it will likely coincide with when i'm spending about ten days in cali. as far as i can tell, one can't be in two places at once. so it may be virtual again. which is fine.

i'm still happy and excited, which is a peculiar undercurrent i'm not used to, but i'm certainly glad it's here. i've needed some good feeling. some peace. that it's come to me now is more than i could ask or imagine.

and i eagerly await what arrives next.

that which is mine, will come to me.

peace.