Tuesday, May 19, 2009

awake she dreams

i've been in bed since four yesterday, i was so tired. slept most of that time, but had a lot of alpha time, heard the poems i know are coming if not at the intensive, sooner. one about my dark angel. it's nearly complete. i saw it, heard it, dreamt it last night. or was it this morning. no matter.

i've a few hours and i just want to be here and do nothing. veg. i'll make myself eat, because still, days go by and i don't eat. very bad habit. don't think it helps my stamina situation. especially when i've got so much going on. more and more, it seems.

i dreamt of a spirit visit last night, the spirit left through the front door, and lo and behold, my front door is ajar this morning. i saw the spirit open the door and exit. wild. least they could do is shut the door.

i was given a baby, am told this represents death. but i've never understood that to be the case. i've always understood it to be a new beginning. which i know is what death is, but there was no negative connotation with this baby. and i was grateful to receive it.

so many times i've listened to marion woodman describe the baby that comes in our dreams as a signal that some great birth is taking place, has taken place. that the journey has begun. i wanted that baby to be in my dreams. i wanted that rebirth.

in my dream stasis of last night, it has happened. though i feel no different today, i must believe everything is different.

everything is different.

and now i'll finally get up, eat, and shut the front door.

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