be mean to me

when he said this i heard myself. i always hear the negative, the complaint, the criticism in what people say to me.

do i care what other people do?

no.

do i care what other people think?

no.

so why should i treat you the way other people do?

it seems i'm having this conversation repeatedly of late. the lady at the gym bitching because she actually has to do something vaguely resembling her job, says,

you know, no one else does this.

i don't really care what other people do.

i've noticed there are acceptable standards of beauty and i think they are all bullshit. i'm driven largely by the stuff inside, intuitively on my part and the way you make me feel. i don't need to know anything else, like who approves, how bad an idea this may be (i'm not asking).

mostly, because i really don't care. we love whom we love. i don't need approval of anyone to love someone. though if someone puts me off long enough, i will walk away, i do have some semblance of pride.

but for now, it is good, we are enjoying each other and it won't be like this for long. summer doesn't last forever.

school is starting soon, and with it a frenzy of work and schoolwork i can't imagine.

there are so many things i want to tell you still, maybe we'll have time to get around to them. we don't seem to talk about much other than what comes to mind, and that pleases me. you are the only one i do not hide from, the only one i feel completely comfortable in my own skin around.

that's something. that's more than something. i don't take it lightly. nor do i am to mistreat that which treats me so well.

good night sweetness, have a good day off.