so much for ease

i lay abed thinking of what i'll wear to my residency. these are the points that consume my mind of late. certainly the tight black and grey capris i just aquired, no question there. i wore them to the belly dance fest, pink converse, and a pink shirt. too damn cute. but there are still nine other days to consider. the sets slowly coming together in my mind. i have to be productive and creative. looks like we do about four or five hours of classes, and a couple hours of creative writing each day of the residency. i faxed in my registration today so i can get into the reading seminar that is capped at 12 participants. i hope no one is as on the ball as i am, though i'm not so on the ball as that. it took me a couple days to get that fax faxed. hopefully i get in. i can hold my own in a room full of grad students. i've been doing it for years now. poetry intensives are great for more than just generating poetry.

perhaps i've three outfits.

today at the gym i lumbered around like a geriatric. i don't know why by my body is screaming. i guess i just don't know. last night at bd class we did figure eights for a solid five minutes, and that will challenge anyone.

at one point i'm going so fast feels like i could launch out to space.

but i got there early and warmed up. a solid fifteen minutes of dancing before class. some girls showed up, but i kept going, it helps me to let go. and i realized, there are so many things i do when my instructor puts on her music that i just forget about when i try to dance to my own music. which is why it's helpful to dance with my friend in her living room and out about the town, because she helps me remember what i've forgotten. watching her inspires me to move too.

she used a veil last time i was dancing at her house, and just moved with it so gracefully, like it was part of her. there was nothing but ease in her movements, grace. i want to dance like that.

so when i broke out a smaller veil than the one i usually use, it helped. just as it helped when i borrowed a smaller veil from her previously. i've been studying a long time, there comes a time when the student must move forward. time to perform.

but ... now i've lost my thought,

time to get ready for work. last day. huzzah.