all details handled.

when i wrote that we were eyeball deep in a two week move to new york. i did not know all the answers to the questions i had asked, but i knew someOne knew, and that was enough for me. that has always been enough for me.

though there are times i'd like to know. like today, there are a great many questions i'd like answers to for my own comfortsake. but He doesn't answer those demands, gratefully. He lets me learn trust.

when i wrote those words, i had no idea where my dog or cat would go. we had to move and had signed a lease on a two bedroom apartment with a no pets clause. i was to pull out of our driveway at 6am the next morning and i had no idea where my pets would go.

i kept trusting God. i'm not the most responsible person in the world. this felt a great deal like not dealing with the hard issues. but earlier in the week i had found a shelter for my dog, and when i arrived they refused him. i was relieved in a way, but grieved in another.

i couldn't keep him. and he knew it was doomtime. when i put him in the car beside me he was trembling. he wasn't wimpering but making a sound i've never heard him make before. i, you see, had owned him since he was six months old.

he loved me. and i loved him. i remember that day, i didn't want to think about him being taken away, after i found a rescue shelter that would pick him up. i wanted to hide from him because i felt so guilty.

but then i remembered a poem i wrote. when i am striken and marked for death will you gather me and hold me close until i quivering yield (or something like that, i write it now as prose, but you get the idea).

he was striken and marked, not for death, for i'd found a no kill shelter. but certainly for death to all he and i had known. and i had to let him go.

i sat in my garden with him for the last time. he sat at my feet as he always did and i sunk my toes into his abundant coat. and rubbed his chest and belly with my feet. he loved it. he rolled onto his back and let me rub him as i sat there writing and weeping.

my husband came home at that moment, and i had details, endless details to wrap up, so i went in the house. when the time came, i led oreo without a collar and leash, he never really needed them to the curb where the truck awaited.

i sat with him beside me and i held him close. i looked into his beautiful brown eyes and said,

i will see you again. we will be together soon.

and i cried.

my girl returned home just as he was being picked up and was allowed to say goodbye. she promptly threw up her lunch, as she also said goodbye to the last of her dear little girl friends.

my cat went to the home of my best friend. i got to say goodbye, and so did renee, late that night after the packing details were done for the evening. renee and i cried again.

we drove off, after my best friends hugged me and prayed for me. and i realized, the details were all handled. it was a bit surprising how it all worked out, but i trusted God then as i trust Him now. to work it all out.

yes, all details handled.