tradeoffs

so i'm walking to the library yesterday. i'm not entirely opposed to exercise. i like exercise to be meaningful/utilitarian in some way accomplishing something. working out in an air conditioned building, doing those machines and blaring my tunes straight into my head is always nice because i like loud music and if i have to sweat i'd like a climate controlled environ.

driving into new york we passed some gyms, and i could see rows of people running on treadmills, which is a peculiar sight. we do so much indoors. like exercise. i understand the oddity of this.

but i'm sucking fumes as i walk to the library yesterday, cars go by reeking of diesel and exhaust. so i'm wondering, yeah i'm out exercising but this can't be good on the lungs. there are so many cars everywhere and they simply reek.

i understand we have places to go and people to see, but walking is a very nice way to get about. and it is excersize with a purpose. my kind of exercise (apart from the gym).

monday while unpacking boxes i wore my karate gi because i needed to kick some butt. last night as i stood at newark airport waiting for my sister (who got beat to the curb by entire families, mind you. i could tell they were from the same area because they donned minney mouse ears and mickey mouse sweatshirts. whole families wearing this hideous garb. quite a sight).

i thought about doing some squats and kicks so no one would mess with me. but it weren't really the place, and i didn't want to look like a total buffoon.

so i stood there with my best LA face, staring down would be accosters. i was fine. wondered why i was all freaked out earlier in the week.

driving there, to newark airport, i could see the empire state building just across the state line and thought, i never imagined the beginning of this month, or this year that i'd be here. God is amazing.

the ride can be a rush. my major tradeoff these days is certainty for abandon. reckless abandon. i throw myself back into the arms of my waiting God. and He always catches me.