blooming

went to my first new york open mic last night. the calibur of poets is definately higher. i had never been to an open mic with so many poets all were restricted to one long poem or two short. it was quite an event.

the good thing about the restrictions is, everyone has to bring the cream. there isn't time for the rest. even the poets who would be considered "bad" or underpar were quite good.

i'm so used to being in scrape the bottom of the barrel poetry situations (not on all occassions), that it is nice to know there are many, many poets here.

i am finally getting some precious time alone. this is only the second time in about a month--and i just don't operate that way. i have to, have to, have to have time alone, or i weird out.

last night was the first time i've felt relatively normal here. like i am supposed to be here and it is going to be all right. i am grateful for that.

i was trying to find a book like the one i am writing to put into my proposal for a publisher, but the task is overwhelming. i understand that i don't fit into any box and how that can be problematic.

the book i'm writing is much like this blog, and involves poetry and prose. if you come across any that resembles what i do here, do tell. i'll greatly appreciate it. i've nearly struck out.

i found a book by robert bly on the human shadow. and a sue monk kidd book, but those were not my objectives. largely, i left with unmet objectives but content with what i had accomplished.

the wisteria out my kitchen window is budding, and each day it gets just a bit more pronounced. a bit longer. that's the thing about spring. when it's time to bloom, there's no stopping it. i am grateful for that. i've wanted to clamp down the glory of spring at times so i can mourn, but spring won't be stopped. it will come whether you want it to or not. and it is dragging me along with it into glory.

i look forward to the day when i run and leap toward joy without any reluctance. i'm buying myself tulips (my sister bought some for me while she was here), and they bring me much joy. it is time, friends, to be kind and nurture our souls.