i believe in love.
i believe we can redeem each other with love. perhaps the redeemer and the one being redeemed do not know it at the time, but i believe love has unbidden ungovernable powers that can transform lives.
but who loves this recklessly, this unselfishly. who can receive this lavish love.
who indeed.
we're all damaged goods here. none of us gets out of here in tact. none of us has the corner on the fucked up market. we're all pretty much in the same shitstorm, some of us just happen to have the right rain gear, by fate or luck, not sure which.
others, by sheer strength of will, it seems make it through the day.
and i find my way from love to love. i know this about me. that i love.
i rubbed a rose petal on my lips, chin, cheeks, nose because it was velvety soft and had fallen off the rose i had slid into the spiral binding of my datebook.
why do you have that rose,he asked.
.
because it's dying. i wouldn't want to die alone.
fortunately for me, he's a poet, and understands this madness. though he said nothing, i felt his ascent.
i wanted to rub the petal on him and let him lavish in the feel of it, but i restrained myself. we are not that intimately acquainted.
and when she died, having been written about, memorialized as it were. i let her go. i let her go.
i do know how to let go. i think that is the greater part of love, letting be those who would not receive.
but i do wish for the return of one long gone. one whom i remember never having seen. one whom i know, never having known. one lost to me before i'd found how much i could love. was capable of love. and was loved in return.
for you see, i was the one once, who could not receive.
and this is how the cycle goes. we are all broken and lost. there are moments, brief as the glittering dew on the morning grass. but we have them, moments of genuine affection, attention, love.
cherish them.
i believe in love.
i continue to believe in love.
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