so i make it home, race to get my suit on, and slather myself with hawaiian tropic, only to read a few pages of harry potter (not all the books required for my residency suck, some have actually been quite fun), and it starts sprinkling again.
so i drag myself inside, all slick with lotion, and have to read here.
i should get my ass in the shower and go read someplace scenic, because when i'm home i turn on the computer and goof off. that is why i get more done elsewhere. unless it's three am, nothing else to do at three am.
i'm down to the last five or so books, one of them i read a couple semesters ago, so if i don't get to it, i won't cry. i read it back then anyway. the others seem mildly appealing. but not enough so to have jumped up for me to read already. a couple, i simply don't get. and fortunately i have some very honest friends who confess they don't get that shit either.
so i don't feel like a complete lug nut. i get poetry, sometimes the poets who play with words and don't incorporate "sense" into the equation really get to me. i hate to read something that is incoherent. i just don't have time for that. it doesn't expand my mind, or my appreciation, it just irriates me. and i'm no peach when i'm irritable. neither are you, so there.
i have begun reading some things that are probably taboo, but whatever, i must care because i'm not saying explicitly here what they are. it is one of the few things i've found an interest in. so i think it's time. time for me to delve into prohibited areas.
one question that comes to mind is, when does a belief in something, faith, if you will, cross over into religion. because that is the line i don't want to cross. i don't want any of the bullshit that goes with religion. any religion. even pagan religions. i just don't have the time or patience for another bureacratic structure imposed on me in the name of faith. not that anyone is doing that, just that i am hypersensitive to it at the moment. i should have quit the faith long ago when i first had pangs of discontent. because now, it's a real sore spot, and while i'm not antagonistic, i'm certainly intolerant. i just don't want to hear it from anyone.
i don't care what religion you're pedaling, try someone else's door.
so, time to shower, wash my hopes of a tan down the drain, though i'm darkening nicely. i need to go read then head off to work. i should probably eat. that is always something i neglect. my girl told me,
it's not good to go hungry.
.
i know, it's a habit though.
.
i'm so busy rushing out the door, that i don't take time to take care of me. that has to stop. i gave my girl a manicure and pedicure yesterday, she wanted painted designs on them. they always do that at the salon. so me, unartistic me, with the shaky hands, tells her to look away while i'm doing it. i managed a very shabby tic tac toe on her big toe, which made her laugh. and a happy face on her other big toe. but mind you, this is a twelve year old, whose big toes are not very big. it was tough. on her fingers, she wanted designs on her ring fingers as well, i managed a pink heart, which she loved, and a not so successful blonde heart, which i put a very poor arrow through to try to improve upon it. all told, the ordeal was just a labor of love, she liked it more because i did it than because it looked nice. but i brushed and braided her hair, only making her cry once. my technique sucks. a gentle mother i've never been accused of being.
but she looked cute when she left and we had a great day together. hopefully it bodes of what will come for us this summer. we need to reconnect. i miss her. she misses me.
and we parked in a spot at the mall that was vaguely familiar. i tried to place when the last time i was there in that location, entering those doors was. and then it hit me, a movie, late at night.
sweet memory. lowsy movie. but the sex was good.
peace. out.
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