legend

i cannot speak of what i came to understand today, it is too fresh, too raw, too deep. it was something that happened at belly dancing, and just before. i got a call of concern and it made a difference. i'm not saying i'll be a nice christian lady now, those days are over. i'm saying, i will be me. that is all i promise. come what may, i can't hide behind labels anymore. i can't depend on anything to save me. which means, pretty much, it is what it is. no excuses.

my bundle of contradictions is endless. i've just begun to unwind it, and it leads somewhere, i'm certain. but where, i have no idea. don't pretend to know. and i'm okay with that.

i had to go into the store tonight, and there were wonderful surprises awaiting my arrival (hear, work). so i did my bit o' good, and now i have to spend some time early tomorrow fixing things. it's not fun being the order frau, but it's my gig right now. and i have to do it.

i should try to turn in, but i'm still, also a student, so i have to use these wee hours when there is actual silence (or some semblance of it), in my home, to make some headway. there is no end to the stuff demanding my time and attention these days.

my boss said,

you're an intelligent woman, this should be easy for you.

yes, but i've got a lot going on.

that is all i can say. the details of a store are endless. i can't imagine how to keep all these balls aloft, except to try and ask for help when i need it.

so, early tomorrow before work, i've got some work to do. what else is new. it's my gig and i've got to handle it.

time to read.

peace. out.