i didn't think the falls would come so quickly, and in such rapid succession.
it's great to have people who support you, even relative newcomers to your life. without their reframing of the current madness, i'd truly have flipped out. i'm trying not to run myself off the road mentally, and just let it go. somethings are beyond me. this is beyond me.
it is broken and cannot be fixed, not by me, not tonight.
it sucks that my boss is going to take a hit from this. in many respects. and, well, i just hate making mistakes.
and i didn't even wear waterproof mascara, just adding to the wonder of the evening.
i think i need to complete this cry and just wallow in it a bit.
but i'm working in a "happy" place, trying to shake off my latest failure.
and it just hurts.
i put such pressure on myself to perform, and when it just doesn't happen, it just doesn't go down easy.
i really screwed this up. massively.
ah well, my bad.
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