the sequel

these tiny acts of courage are sometimes rewarded. i gave my poetry book to three people (four, actually) at work i trust. those who could someday be considered friends. a comment i got was,

i cried.

the next comment i got was,

is there a sequel.

it made me smile.

i'm lost in the topsy turvy demands of my job, and trying to find some balance there. don't answer the phone, don't go the extra mile. but that really isn't my style, so what to do? hmm.

frustrated is not the word for what i am right now, because it's too mild. i'm trying to believe our entire team wants us to succeed, but at times it doesn't feel that way. is it people's indifference? inattention? intention? who can tell and how do we change it?

we have to recertify the entire store, which is wonderful and should have been done weeks ago, but there was some question as to whether or not i was right about what was going on. sadly, i was. it's times like these i want to be proven wrong.

as i spoke with someone i know i said it again,

i want to be wrong.

trouble is, i can evaluate a situation pretty accurately. even when i don't like what i see, i know what the major issues are. so how to incorporate this knowledge with some action. to take the lead in positive change. though at the moment, i'm feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.

how do you change ingrained patterns and carelessness? how do you make people care? why should they, it's "just" a job. the thing is, it is our job. it is my job, and your job, and our jobs we're talking about. so if you're going to slack, get the hell out, there is no room for that.

there are a couple different kinds of bosses, the ones who are all business and get the hell out if you're not on board, and the ones who accomodate. i'm not sure i'm either, but i can see how appealing being all business would be. it's tough to not treat people disrespectfully while requiring they actually do their job, but it is something that i have to master.

i need to go workout, i'm confused about how to handle these challenges and, well, i need to think. working out frees my mind to roam a bit, and there, perhaps it will encounter some insight. perhaps not, but at least i'll have worked out.

peace. out.