rapport

i've fallen into a comfortable place with customers and co-workers, and it's a good feeling. i still have moments when i'm less than kind, but for the most part, it's working out. the staff seem to be asking me questions (which kind of makes me laugh because some of these same people fought my arrival, which i guess is human nature, to buck new authority, or anyone who says to do something different).

but it's working out. we laugh, we work, we are a team. it's a great feeling.

we finally broke through a psychological barrier last night that our store couldn't manage to get around. i'm grateful it's done. we kept trying, my boss has been trying, i've been trying, the team, trying. but nothing. until last night. i was grateful to be the one on watch when it occurred. and, i didn't have to stay late.

it had been a bad habit i'd developed, working past time, just trying to tie up loose ends. my boss says i keep missing stuff, but it's more about follow-up than anything. these kids will say they've done something but they haven't done it to the nth degree, if you know what i mean. they've just bowed in the general direction.

i want things done and done well. so does my boss. but we're coming around, the team as a whole.

there has to be a willingness to be taught and a gentle hand guiding the reins, or the whole thing becomes about fighting each other for power and that simply is not fun. it sucks.

reminds me of bitty, she ran to me when i went to get her. i love that pony. from across the field she bolted right toward me, for a scratch, certainly, but i think she knew i was there to retrieve her.

so i lead her out of the field, and george has been lingering about the gate, hoping to get out with me, i think, but it wasn't his time. so i moved him away and didn't realize he'd sidled around bitty's backside, and how quickly this could go downhill. but i'm working the tricky closure on the gate (some crazy toggle bolt, why they don't make a quick release for these applications, i don't know). and george is pestering bitty. so i turn around, and flick the lead at him, to drive him away from her before he gets kicked or bites her.

i've finally figured out how to get the crowding horse off point so i can exit with the horse i want. it's all about forethought, which isn't my strong suit. but if i approach the gate from the opening angle, and shave off the horse crowding the exit, essentially pushing them (not physically, metaphorically) to the hinged part of the gate rather than letting them have the angle and trying to get an untethered horse to stay in the enclosure, i can extract my pony without incident.

so, anyway, bitty and i are in the field grazing, (well, she is grazing, not me. i'm just enjoying her chestnut coat, her strong neck, and will. the dappled sky, and remnants of fall), and the kid who is to ride bitty approaches. bitty lifts her head and jerks away, so i follow her.

she's tiny, but incredibly strong, and strong willed. i know the method to get a horse to do what you want is to jerk the halter and lead, but i don't find that kind and it is not the way i want to treat my friends. i am probably not helping by not manhandling her, now that i think of it, but when she is with me, i don't want her to feel i'm trying to push her around. i can't. i understand this. and i don't have any desire to, i hope she understands this.

so she starts trotting away, and i jog along side, like we're in a dogshow, and we cross through the field and go down a small hill to the other side of the road, me running the entire time. we make it on to the small dirt road where i regain some semblance of the lead, and i keep the pace, jogging along down the road with her. she pulls me a bit to a lush patch of clover, and i let her take a nibble, then jog her into her stall, where i take her blanket off.

this was not how i would have preferred to do it. but bitty is strong. if she is going where i need her to go, albeit at a trot, rather than a walk, what is the downside of that? though everyone was watching me and some were saying,

do you need help?

i just smiled and trotted by saying,

no, we're fine.

because we were. we'd figured it out. she got where she needed to be, she just didn't want to be around the kid who was retrieving her from me. and i understand that too.

i have the day off, and tomorrow too. but i'll be going in both days. weds we have a big district meeting where i'll get to meet some of the higher ups. i'm told there will be some kind of recognition for me there, but who knows. we'll see.

peace. out.