lean in closer

can i tell you something, whisper it just loud enough so you can hear if you lean in very close.

none of this matters.

it has all been a pasttime, one i'd readily exchange. one i'd abandon in a heartbeat. you understand. i can say no more.

but i will take you and all the wars you've fought, the ravaged soul you'd bring to me, and spend time gentling you. instilling just an ounce of the courage you instilled in me.

none of this matters.

remember that. when you doubt if it is worth it. when you question how beaten and wrinkled time takes its toll.

none of this matters.

without you. i don't understand it either, but there it is.

i set out on my next great adventure, my summer course begins monday. and i took the leap, to keep my mind focused on something other than the chaos of nothingness.

one can only stare out windows and weep for so long, one must pick oneself up and move forward.

for so long it was momentum only that carried me. now it is will. i want to do this. i know i can do this. i must try. i must reach out and cross that finish line because i must.

but still, even after having achieved my dreams, attained a few goals.

none of this matters.

do you understand what i'm saying? of course you do.