beautiful indoors

my heart dropped when i didn't see bucky in what has become his "usual" paddock. three other horses i knew were there and i stopped dead in my tracks and turned to my girl,

they moved him.

he's in his stall,

she replied.

oh,

a rush of relief swept over me. i didn't want to search for him, mostly because he was nowhere to be seen and i don't have energy to spare.

so when my girl gets into the indoor arena, dustbowl that it is, i end up hosing the place down while she rides around, nicole moving jumps and generally doing her thing. then another instructor enters with her student and horse, and so i'm watering around two horses. by the end of the hour a third had entered the ring, and i'm just trying to get the job done. but godzilla showed up, and saw me watering the ring, which her staff should do, but they don't. i don't mind so much, except that i am tired, and don't need to be doing that. especially since it wasn't zone out time, it was, watch out for the horses and don't pull the hose taut so you don't create a hazard.

lots to think about. plus, i have reading to do, but then again, where else would i rather be. come to think of it, there were four horses in the arena before we left. we had to exit between the cantering circles of one rider. it was kind of nuts.

i find the time, even the labor involved with horses more rejuvenating than exhausting. i can't say that about all labor. sometimes labor is just that, labor.

but i have a better understanding of all that is invovled in horseownership, so when it comes time, i will hopefully be ready. i can't see a future of mine without horses, that's how it goes.

i'm definately writing again. today even wrote something that others might dub "happy" go figure. whoda thunk it?

but my up is down life has brought me here and i'm grateful. for everything i'm losing, everything i'm gaining, everything, everything. i'm grateful.

peace.