feverish

there are these moments i want to sit like the feverish baby in my lap, sinking back into the arms that hold her. whichever way she rocks, i counterbalance and keep her planted. when she throws herself so far off center as to fall (not from my lap, but just in her general meanderings), i am there to reach out and smile, to kiss the cheeks wet with tears, and comfort the little one who has fallen on hard times.

or a hard moment. these babies move so fast from crying to laughing, i wonder at the sight of it all.

the little one i felt most connected to last time has mastered the pout, she pooches out her little top lip and announces her displeasure with a great downcast look. and the one responsible for the sadness, the drama, can only laugh and repent.

i'm sorry baby,

for whatever it is.

today, she had her little fingers looped through one of my earrings, and wanted to pull her hand free. i grabbed her chubby little arm and weaved her fingers out, to her great displeasure, and she bellowed at me a bit.

but i could not let her rip my earlobe, and she did not want to. she just didn't know any better.

how many earlobes have i ripped unwittingly.

and they crawl away now, to the kitchen where their momma washes dishes and makes things right.

we're both so wasted tired, we don't know how we'll manage one more day, but we will. a feverish baby doesn't help, because all she wants is holding, but since i am here to be all arms, and smiles and kisses, i don't mind the slower pace.

i'm tired though. hoping i get the prof i'm most comfortable with, the one who just today said she is glad i can see the difference between what i want to do and what i need to do for my final study.

i've decided to scrap my plans for another semester, and let the belly dance take me where it will. i had a vision some time back, during this past too short break, of my next collection of poetry, and it was themed around the dance. and all the explorations there.

i have just ordered a delicate pink pair of harem pants, and we'll see how it goes.

it can't rain always, or so i've been told.

i'm looking forward to the wonders this semester will reveal.

peace. out.