all told

well, so much for my big talk, but i really got a lot accomplished this morning. so that is my excuse for writing now.

six more books to write on before i let myself off the proverbial hook. then, i have at least that many more to read, and a major essay to write, as well as my belly dance to perform. then i'm done.

it feels like so much work, but i've tried to convince myself that my least is better than many people's best. so, i can just do what i can and be done with it. will it be a stellar conclusion to my semester? not really. but whatever. we do the best we can and move on.

all i need is my degree, not some amazing piece of work, though i feel it isn't worth the effort to produce something less than amazing, at this point, it's about graduating. that is the bottom line for me.

i have to graduate. i have to do this.

and i'm so tired. i may nap a bit, then hit the books again. i wanted to go see the horses today, but i opted out, i imposed my own personal deadline, then maybe i'll venture out tomorrow.

not to dodge. i don't think i can make it there. i'm so tired i'm driving half asleep, and that is not good. my girl and i put two hundred miles on the car thursday just getting to the farm and dodge, and i wanted to pass out half way home. not good. just coming straight home from the farm yesterday i wanted to fall asleep at the wheel.

whatever.

priorities. i must make mine, not be ashamed of what they are. and trust, abandon myself to my instincts and move forward.

the word ferrel keeps coming to me. and i trust, my instincts won't long be awry.

i must away. much to do.