do better, or just different

one thing about the company i'm in now is, it's a giant family. i am traveling to more stores and meeting more people, which is really nice. my trainer (the sweet, oh boy trainer), said to me tonight,

it's all about relationship building.

which is what this corp really feels like. everyone is so unique, and, well, you just have to find your style and do your best.

pick your battles,

she reminds me.

and tonight when my boss delivered some critique, i could have gotten lost in the negative self talk, but instead i tried to cut myself some slack. there are areas of opportunity to be sure. i have so much to learn, and, well, today i did much better than the day before. it just takes time.

so, i told my boss, i am getting there. it is better than it was, but i hope to connect with at least the vocal member of the team who felt most put out, and mend some fences. i never want to stop being teachable. i must learn and grow. i must. especially when it's hard.

i get to set up the holiday promotion for the store and i can't wait. i have, just tonight, finished all the clearing that i needed to do before the new stock arrived, which will happen tomorrow when i'm away. there is plenty of room for it to be crammed until i can get to it on weds and reconfigure the madness. the incoming shipments have only just begun.

i understand that i have so much to learn. and, i guess, i'm being stretched. my life is kind of like a taffy puller.

i just heard from my current program that i need to read 27 books for this culminating semester instead of 20. (GREAT)

i'm glad i found out now, and not in a month or two. now i'm really behind again. i have to push through much that i've been doddling over.

but it will be fine. i work well under pressure.

i pulled my back a bit taking out the trash tonight, i reached really far into the trash can, and, well, it just hurt. so, i stretched it a bit, i should probably do it again (stretching, that is, not pulling), and take some meds.

then to sleep. our friends await our arrival early, and we can't get to them soon enough. i can never spend enough time there. i just wish i could do more for them, spend more time with them. but i'm grateful for the patch of time we get. it is sufficient for now. it has to be.

there is nothing like walking down that dirt road to their field and having them rush the gate in greeting. i find it a profound honor that they have accepted me and receive my touch, my presence, my whatever i show up with.

i go to the farm to heal. for there i am whole again. whole as i have never been before. nothing is amiss when i am in the paddock amongst my friends.

have a good day my friends.