no bubble.

this is something i will not, cannot explain. its meaning is still being understood by me. and so i leave off for another less guarded topic.

i hear the words again, dancing in my head, my dreams, congealing. ready, perched on the horizon like stormclouds after a long hot summer, full and promising relief. blooms. respite.

and i can only be grateful.

i have no time for this now, writing here. it does not fit, and i must leave it off at some point, sooner, perhaps than later. as there is only so much i can do and this has never been the wisest or the safest. merely what has been.

i understand so much more than i did yesterday. everything has changed, absolutely nothing's changed.

and i wonder, will it be enough. will i have passed the test. will you find me faithful. do i even comprehend what that means, and can i live up to it? do we sometime trade in our dreams, or let them rest in the hollow of our heart having earned their place there. do we surrender when the days grow cold and the monotony threatens to become all we know and understand.

i can't believe how much my mind has changed since i forced myself back to the gym. everything looks and feels different. i see so much coming that i cannot, nay, don't want to change. i welcome this change. these poquitos muertos. and i will mourn my losses, but now, i'm ready to move forward. and become.

to forge my own way and find out, finally, who i am today.

i am grateful to be me, at this moment in my life. i don't know what's coming, but it will be damn good. good love is on the way. and i'm lonely but i know i'll be okay. good love is on the way.

and i'm ready for it.

peace. out.