begin again.

a new day. i'm trying to figure out what to do with it. i got a glimpse of tween mood swings last night and that's scary. i tend to be kind of moody myself, so with both of us arcing back and forth, oh my.

i had a dream where james hetfield played a major role, and it's curious, because in all the years i've loved metallica, i've never though he was the bomb. i guess his sobering up, becoming a better dad and husband, all that makes a man attractive in my eyes. it was a curious dream, and i was dancing.

i like that i get to dance a lot in dreams and such.

i'm thinking a lot about the new job, and i'm sorry the comfortable rhythm i've fallen into at my current place won't necessarily carry over to the new place. i need a few things, a saturday am shift, tuesdays and wedsnesdays off. and when i went in, i said these things in no uncertain terms. they hired me, and one of the first questions the manager asked was,

do you really need tuesday and wedsnesday off?

sigh.

i told her i'll try to be flexible as i can, but i need to take some classes next semester and those are the days the classes fall on.

i've just received word on a story i edited, the author loved my work, though the story has since been reivsed. it takes me so long to get to these things. and now another piece sits on my desktop.

returning a story, a poem, a novel, riddled with my commentary and editing is always a curious endeavor. i love to do it, i know there are some things, some misdirections, however minor, that need to be addressed, and that is the gift i possess. the ability to redirect those misdirections.

even here, in all these words, sometimes they are not clear. sometimes they could be changed somehow. and had i an editor (and actually listened, or cared), i would benefit from that objective eye. every writer does.

even the established ones. it's the nature of the process. needing other eyes to ingest what you write.

and now my mind jumps back to my new schedule, my new boss said,

i have someone who closes on monday and weds. i need someone on tues.

and i'm thinking, why didn't we discuss this earlier? i can be flexible about it until my class starts in september and ends in jan, but i need to take a tuesday night class. for my own sanity. the thought of doing my belly dance and recording it without the kind eye of my instructor is just not something i want to consider.

perhaps there will be some change, something will happen, my transfer to ramsey (closer to home) will come through.

i'm pressing myself at my current place to do things by the book again. we have some ways of doing things that are not kosher, and i'm trying to remind myself these are the bad habits of this place. and to take the time to stop and go back to basics.

when you're trained with shortcuts, it's hard to unlearn them.

and the level i fill my cups to, sometimes i try to get it all in the cup when it simply won't fit. i have to watch that.

there is much to do today, and i must away to put my hand to it.

peace. out.