early now

i like that i'm able to roll out of bed by 7:30. that's a huge improvement for me. and it proves, at least to me, i'm not depressed anymore. what a relief.

i sat at the library yesterday, in my chair, and while i saw a hawk break cover a couple times. i didn't fall apart.

big strides. huge, actually.

but i was tired, and we walked home and i passed out. i'm not sure if tired counts as stabalized. but i know a calm in my life at the moment, i've not felt for a long time. it's still a weird calm, but it's not a roller coaster, and i'll take what i can get.

i wore my girl's flip flops to yoga last night (because she'd commandeered mine. i hate it when she does that), and she has these three level black rainbow sandals that must be broken in. i broke in my six level black, and she broke in her six level rainbow rainbows, and we wear my pink flat camos all the time (those are the ones she commandeered).

so my sister, who acquired some at the same times said,

just suck it up and wear them. there is no way around it.

my black six levels have leatherette straps, which were mercifully giving. my girl's have nylon straps which are ruthless.

so i wore them for a short walk to pick up my dodge yesterday, which didn't get fixed. they had the truck all day and didn't fix it. piss me off, now i have to take it back today. whether they want it there or not, they have to fix it. especially since i may have to walk to work today if they don't get it done. grrr.

which is no biggie except that it means i have to walk home, and it may or may not be dark, i can't remember now. we get off an hour earlier, because they changed our schedule. so it may be fine and i can use a nice walk.

i have a lot of energy, shall we say.

but i wore my girl's black three levels to yoga after retrieving the truck because they "didn't hurt" and by the time i got to yoga, spots of skin had come off on the top of my foot, between my big toes. ouch!

and the worst part of it was, i had to reach back and grab my foot and stand with one leg up, the opposite arm up, while i'm clutching this foot. i could feel the newly tender spots burn under my hand, and i tried to focus on breathing through it.

find a focal spot,

she'd say.

my foot ached but not the one i was holding. at one point, we did this lift your leg up and move it knee bent, open and closed, like a door turning on it's hinge. after doing that for a few minutes, we stood with the flat of that same foot pressed into the calf. my down foot, or standy foot as i might be inclined to call it, ached. it got very tired from that stretch.

i think i fought through that pose, but when we started lifting our arms with that one leg up, that is when i fell out of it.

i must away. gym is open.
girl is finally up.

time she's a wastin'.

peace. out.