what is best

i'm not sure what is best anymore. what do you mean by best?

certainly, we aren't talking the best interest of the customer (which is what i think standing for cleanliness standards--minimum, by no means extreme standards at that). the customer is certainly not the priority of this particular establishment.

parting the customer from coin is.

that is contrary to my purpose in life.

while i can make myself the noble martyr, i won't. i know i need to bone up on my sales strategies and confidence, but that is not something that happens over night. i'm amazed at how people are expected to change instantaneously.

it just doesn't happen.

so, if i go for the job i want, i will be hired at and have to drive about thirty minutes away. is it worth the trade off to get my foot in the door of a company i want but having to be so far from home?

i'm just not sure.

since i'm at the grocery, i could be asked to transfer to another department or store, but in a department transfer, i lose the connection with the coffee joint i so cherish. though the cashiering gig is mindless enough. apparently, they want to pay people to stand around and read. and i'm willing to consider it.

(it amazes me how one leadership style can take a productive employee and completely arrest their enthusiasm. i don't want to lead that way. perhaps it's just that companies no longer know what to do with an employee who actually works? wouldn't that be something?)

in a transfer to another store, i cut the commute by about ten minutes, but the larger issues of store politics remain.

i was told today by a fellow employee (the only other older lady who actually cleans), not to involve the store manager in this, but just to stay and do my job. she says,

i have peace when you close at night.

(because she doesn't have to spend her shift cleaning what should have been cleaned before she got there).

but neither of these options really feels like recipes for success. as much as i want to stay in the place i'm at, for sheer proximity alone. i don't know that i can justify it any longer. i will not rush off and be the fool, i will work my appointed shifts, do the best job i can, while lining up a really sweet gig somewhere else.

a mediocre job i can find anywhere, i'm looking for a stellar job.

whatever that may look like.
i'm open to suggestions at this point.

peace.