lavish smoke

it has been so long since i've been surprised in the good way. so long, i've nearly forgotten what it's like. and tonight, the chief came into my work and stood there smiling. he produced a box for me, a gift. a bracelet of turquoise and coral. said he was going to pray for me and smudge me, but just slid the box across the counter to me instead.

so i opened the box, and smiled.

i love it. thank you.

and we talked, about what, i don't remember, but i said,

i'll take my break so you can pray and give it to me as you wish.

and so i did. i met his wife, and we stood in the sacred smoke, he prayed and i stood silently.

words escape me at these moments, and my mind a whir with things i've not even begun to understand.

i go into tomorrow's silence blessed. rich with life and wonder.

i hope to go for a long walk and be apart. to find the crow who comes to speak with me daily at my home (but i'll be far away, so maybe i'll meet his cousin).

and the hawk who haunts my steps, haunting me still. and i will be glad of his presence. as i'm glad for the breath of my lungs. the beat of my heart. glad, that all is not lost, not yet.

and i hope to meet some new friends, of the furred and feathered sort. the uncomplicated types.

life can be so very complicated. and i try to wrap my mind around it, but find it's too much for me. and i grow weary.

to send you on your way in peace. to keep you in beauty.

he prayed this and much more. and i am grateful.
beyond words, grateful.