Saturday, April 03, 2010

ooh, my head

so, the migraines. who knows. who really knows. but my kid has become effective at assuaging them.

i know, i know. something you've seen a thousand times.

as i've said before, i can't stop the whirring of my mind sometime, and when all i feel is pain, mindnumbing pain, the lights go off, the ice comes out, and a video goes in. something familiar. my mind falls into the cadence of the familiar language and i drift off to sleep.

used to be one ice cube. then, two--that was a big deal. now, it's a whole blue ice, ice pack. i put it alternately on my forehead and then behind my head at the nape of my neck. this distracts me enough from the pain to let me focus on the familiar movie.

i hadn't had a migraine in a long time, about six months or so, now two in a week.

i awoke with a throbbing headache, and went to the farm anyway. life goes on, people depend on me. yadayadayada.

so, we have a lovely day, and i remove the speaker bluetooth because piping chris cornell, as wonderful as he is, into a throbbing head, isn't the best idea.

i left off the headphones for the better part of the day.

but we had errands to run on our way home, and sometimes, the music soothes me.

i made it through the store where i had to pick up a prescription, and knew the clock was ticking down.

i won't last long.
i could feel it, creeping up, spiky claws digging into my brain.

my girl darts to what she needs and races back to me, we're out of there in record time.

i check the mail, as she's waiting the arrival of something (and, truth be told, so am i). but we have one more stop.

i can barely keep my eyes open at the library. as we are standing in line, i hand her my card and money for the fines we've incurred.

i close my eyes between signals,
watch for the green,
i tell her. by this time, the light of day is painful.

and we make it home, i lay down, she turns off the light, retrieves the ice pack and puts in the familiar video.

and after sleeping for some time, and nearly thawing halfway through the ice. i'm up. she needs dinner.

i feel the pain returning, and i will likely melt the pack the rest of the way. and sleep, hopefully, not think about what i am not doing while convalescing.

the way i see it is, the body knows what it needs. apparently, my body is demanding rest. and so, i oblige.

i will manage the details when my head stops splitting.

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