sleep comes

heavily, heavily. seems, the way it used to elude me, it has now taken to me again. which is good and bad. but, i hope i'm out of the woods with the sickness stuff, because i really do have a million things to do. one look at my calendar and i know it's a long week ahead.

i spent the better part of last week, not focused on my literacy project. just checking in, spinning plates as it were. but the time is drawing nigh. and i need to move quickly this week. line things up. return phone calls. i keep going over the events in my mind, seeing them taking place. zooming in and out with my imagination looking for things that might make them better, more comfortable. how i can plan now for eventualities. the thing is, no budget. so, i need to make miracles happen.

i wanted the park squared away before advertising, but that isn't possible. so the advertising begins trusting it will all be well.

and i'm sure it will be. i seem to depend on favor, and it always materializes. from the most unlikely sources. i will continue to trust things will work themselves out.

i close tonight and the next two nights. with a guy no one wants to work with. they think he's not worth keeping around.

the interesting thing is, i enjoy working with him. he's a good kid. i'm not sure why others can't see people the way i do, but i'm not going to let this kid go down without defending him. he is who he is. there is no law saying we all have to be some ideal person or personality. we just have to try. he does that.

i told them,

maybe it's because i'm a mom.

who knows. really, why some personalities gel and others don't. i think, it may also be partly because we're both new and he's had it rough. there is no joy in being the new kid when everyone is out to get you.

and i have to remind myself, it's only coffee. who really cares?

so we closed friday night, had a decent time. it is work, after all, but he works hard for me. keeps moving, does what i ask. which is the recipe for my happiness at work.

i really don't know why it's such an acrimonious relationship with the other kids. i think perhaps it's because they want him to be someone he's not. i ask him to be only who he is. that's my problem. i get people. this is, and isn't a good thing. this does, and doesn't apply to the general public.

i keep saying, it takes longer than the three minutes they want the customer in house waiting (from register to handoff), to make a connection (at least for me). i'm focused more on getting the customer the hell out of dodge.

this one guy, was in line, and i was on the other side of the counter, filling the refridgerated area. i saw the line, and walked around. the line literally disappeared when i walked around because, a. the store is tiny, about as big as my apt. b. we rock. anyway, he stands there looking at me, and i say,

resigned yourself to waiting, eh?

.

yeah.

he said,

i have no idea what i want.

.

it's okay, take your time.

he smiled.

sometimes, i'm good at my job. but mostly, i just want to get it over with these days. i have so many other things to do, that when i'm there, sometimes, i just have bide my time.

now, i must get up and enter my day. much to do before i go to work.

and it's all good. it is all, very good.